If you are reading this, then you are probably well aware that I have
chosen to run for President of the United States of America. I have
made this decision because I think I am the person best qualified to
lead our wonderful nation into a new era of peace and prosperity,
and to bring back that "new car" smell to the stagnant cities and
fallow farm lands from coast to coast.

Despite what you may hear from the major media outlets, I am not
running for President to make money. I am not running for President
out a delusional sense of grandeur. And I am certainly not running
for President to make friends. I know that politics is a dirty business,
but I pledge to run an open, honest campaign. In doing so, I am well
aware that I will alienate and offend various groups, individuals and
constituencies. But unlike my competitors, I am up-front about this. I
will not back down or tone down my message in a cheap or
transparent effort to woo fringe voters or to try to divert attention
away from policy differences.

To this end, I would like to pro-actively provide an alphabetized,
easy-to-reference guide to all those who may take offense or disagree
with my positions and policies. As you read through this list (and link
to the potentially offending pages), I think you'll get a quick, simple
overview of what my campaign is all about (and what it's not about):
Offended Parties