April 12, 2008
Recently, there has been a lot of turmoil and discussion related to the Olympic
torch relay as the flame has made the traditional route from Olympus, Greece
to the site of the latest Olympic games (this summer's games are slated for
Beijing, China). Protesters against and supporters for China have
demonstrated, clashed and otherwise disrupted the progression of the Olympic
flame.
Some people believe that politics are politics and sports are sports, and that the
cause of international fellowship suffers when the two are mixed. Others
believe that political and moral issues trump mere sporting events, and that it
is imperative that we use such grand international stages to make important
statements and proclamations. All of us are free to view the Olympics, and by
extension the Olympic flame, in whatever light we choose. That is what
makes us Americans. That is what makes us great. And to me, this is a
relatively insignificant point that misses the larger opportunity here.
Many of you are probably like me, and you find protesting to fairly
time-consuming and tedious. Watching the Olympics on TV, on the other
hand, is easy, fun and sometimes even entertaining. If you are like me, you
probably wonder why the International Olympic Committee keeps dropping
events from the Olympics (like baseball and softball after 2012, and tug-of-war
and croquet, which were also inexplicably dropped in past Olympics). So my
suggestion is to take the lemons that are literally being thrown by Olympic
flame protesters, and turn them into lemonade (probably dirty lemonade,
because we're picking the lemons up off the street, but lemonade nonetheless).
As President, I will petition the International Olympic Committee to not only
restore tug-of-war and croquet to the Olympic roster, but also to add "torch
carrying" as an event. Granted, it's not very compelling today to watch skinny
tree-hugging protesters attacking little old men and ladies carrying the torch,
but if we make this an official Olympic event then all that will change.
My proposal is that each country that qualifies will get to have their
torch-carrier navigate a 10k course filled with traffic, protesters and whatever
other zany obstacles the "hosting nation" might throw at them. To make it
even more interesting, I would have the torch carriers have to perform in
countries that are traditionally rivals to their home countries. So I would have
the Brazilian carrier have to perform in Argentina, or the Russian carrier have
to perform in the U.S., or the French carrier have to perform well, pretty much
anywhere. Sports fans everywhere would get to see athletes trained in a
variety of disciplines, including endurance, strength and intelligence. They
would also get to see brute mobs and strategic hindrances thrown at these
torch-carrying "super athletes", and see how this new event would bring out
their best as the Olympic credo demands (similar to the Boy Scout credo, if I
understand them both properly).
Enough of the petty politics, enough of the protesting, enough of the 30 second
Olympic flame journey stories on the national news. Let's add a new, exciting
event to the Olympics, and let's create an interesting sports option in the
traditional "dead zone" of sports leading up to the summer and winter Olympic
games. Let us act quickly and decisively, and let us add "Olympic Flame
Carrying" to the 2010 winter games!
Recently, there has been a lot of turmoil and discussion related to the Olympic
torch relay as the flame has made the traditional route from Olympus, Greece
to the site of the latest Olympic games (this summer's games are slated for
Beijing, China). Protesters against and supporters for China have
demonstrated, clashed and otherwise disrupted the progression of the Olympic
flame.
Some people believe that politics are politics and sports are sports, and that the
cause of international fellowship suffers when the two are mixed. Others
believe that political and moral issues trump mere sporting events, and that it
is imperative that we use such grand international stages to make important
statements and proclamations. All of us are free to view the Olympics, and by
extension the Olympic flame, in whatever light we choose. That is what
makes us Americans. That is what makes us great. And to me, this is a
relatively insignificant point that misses the larger opportunity here.
Many of you are probably like me, and you find protesting to fairly
time-consuming and tedious. Watching the Olympics on TV, on the other
hand, is easy, fun and sometimes even entertaining. If you are like me, you
probably wonder why the International Olympic Committee keeps dropping
events from the Olympics (like baseball and softball after 2012, and tug-of-war
and croquet, which were also inexplicably dropped in past Olympics). So my
suggestion is to take the lemons that are literally being thrown by Olympic
flame protesters, and turn them into lemonade (probably dirty lemonade,
because we're picking the lemons up off the street, but lemonade nonetheless).
As President, I will petition the International Olympic Committee to not only
restore tug-of-war and croquet to the Olympic roster, but also to add "torch
carrying" as an event. Granted, it's not very compelling today to watch skinny
tree-hugging protesters attacking little old men and ladies carrying the torch,
but if we make this an official Olympic event then all that will change.
My proposal is that each country that qualifies will get to have their
torch-carrier navigate a 10k course filled with traffic, protesters and whatever
other zany obstacles the "hosting nation" might throw at them. To make it
even more interesting, I would have the torch carriers have to perform in
countries that are traditionally rivals to their home countries. So I would have
the Brazilian carrier have to perform in Argentina, or the Russian carrier have
to perform in the U.S., or the French carrier have to perform well, pretty much
anywhere. Sports fans everywhere would get to see athletes trained in a
variety of disciplines, including endurance, strength and intelligence. They
would also get to see brute mobs and strategic hindrances thrown at these
torch-carrying "super athletes", and see how this new event would bring out
their best as the Olympic credo demands (similar to the Boy Scout credo, if I
understand them both properly).
Enough of the petty politics, enough of the protesting, enough of the 30 second
Olympic flame journey stories on the national news. Let's add a new, exciting
event to the Olympics, and let's create an interesting sports option in the
traditional "dead zone" of sports leading up to the summer and winter Olympic
games. Let us act quickly and decisively, and let us add "Olympic Flame
Carrying" to the 2010 winter games!
| The Olympic Torch - April 12, 2008 |
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