May 24, 2008
There has been a lot of back and forth lately between the presumptive
nominees of the major parties on the subject of "talking with our enemies".
While this makes for interesting fodder for the daily news shows and weekend
political programs, I believe that I am the one candidate in this year's election
who has the right formula for securing our nation's security while
simultaneously advancing our great nation's interests in the broader
international community.
If you simplify Senator Obama's message, I think it boils down to "Let's talk to
everyone, no matter what." He wants to talk to Iran, North Korea, Hamas, Pol
Pot, Boris Badenov and even Ryan Seacrest. It doesn't matter what you've done
or do, it doesn't matter what pain you've caused or cause, Barack wants to talk
to you.
Senator McCain's message is similarly imbecilic. He doesn't want to talk to
anyone, including Larry King, Jay Leno and even his mother-in-law. That is,
unless it's a Wednesday, and it's raining, and David Beckham's farts smell like
roses. Regardless of the validity of your cause, or your message or your general
demeanor and disposition, John McCain doesn't want to talk to you.
Independent candidates like Ralph Nader and Bob Barr present issues of a
different nature. I have no idea what their positions are on talking to those
who wish us harm or who work against us. And frankly, their positions on
this matter are irrelevant. Why, you ask? Because nobody wants to talk to
them. Even if either one of them were through some fluke of nature to win
this election, they'd be lucky to get the Undersecretary of Agriculture of the
Sahara Desert on the phone, let alone in a face-to-face meeting. These guys are
nobodies, and nobody wants to talk to them.
There is, however, another option. Me, Brad Willard. I'm the person who can
find the common ground that straddles the "accommodation" of Obama versus
the "antagonism" of McCain. I am the one person in this election who can bring
together the people of our great nation and also bring together the people of the
world.
My position is that we should talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere, but we
shouldn't necessarily listen (or even pay attention, for that matter). I call it my
"Los Angeles cocktail party" engagement strategy. I'll talk to anyone, but at a
very superficial level. I'll pepper the conversations with lots of "right, right"
and "absolutely, let's do that" comments, while I'm looking around to see what
else I could be doing. If I'm talking to an Ayatollah or a Mullah, and Jessica
Alba walks by, I'll drop the old boys mid-sentence to talk about the weather
with the hottie (Jessica Alba, in case you're not clear on that point). To further
illustrate my point, if I'm talking to some low-level warlord from Somalia, and
Kim Jong-Il, walks by, I'll ditch the warlord to begin an equally superficial
conversation with the North Korean whack-job. All the while I'll be looking
for A-list celebs or world leaders (like Will Smith, Angela Merkel or J.K.
Rowling) to converse with.
I'm all about meeting with and talking to people who can advance my prestige
and the prestige of my country. I'll talk to almost anyone to kill some time, but
as soon as the glamorous folks show up I'm done talking to the nerds. McCain,
Obama and the other candidates in the 2008 field are slaves to their special
interest groups and their union and corporate sponsors. I am the candidate of
change. I am the middle way; I am the American way!
There has been a lot of back and forth lately between the presumptive
nominees of the major parties on the subject of "talking with our enemies".
While this makes for interesting fodder for the daily news shows and weekend
political programs, I believe that I am the one candidate in this year's election
who has the right formula for securing our nation's security while
simultaneously advancing our great nation's interests in the broader
international community.
If you simplify Senator Obama's message, I think it boils down to "Let's talk to
everyone, no matter what." He wants to talk to Iran, North Korea, Hamas, Pol
Pot, Boris Badenov and even Ryan Seacrest. It doesn't matter what you've done
or do, it doesn't matter what pain you've caused or cause, Barack wants to talk
to you.
Senator McCain's message is similarly imbecilic. He doesn't want to talk to
anyone, including Larry King, Jay Leno and even his mother-in-law. That is,
unless it's a Wednesday, and it's raining, and David Beckham's farts smell like
roses. Regardless of the validity of your cause, or your message or your general
demeanor and disposition, John McCain doesn't want to talk to you.
Independent candidates like Ralph Nader and Bob Barr present issues of a
different nature. I have no idea what their positions are on talking to those
who wish us harm or who work against us. And frankly, their positions on
this matter are irrelevant. Why, you ask? Because nobody wants to talk to
them. Even if either one of them were through some fluke of nature to win
this election, they'd be lucky to get the Undersecretary of Agriculture of the
Sahara Desert on the phone, let alone in a face-to-face meeting. These guys are
nobodies, and nobody wants to talk to them.
There is, however, another option. Me, Brad Willard. I'm the person who can
find the common ground that straddles the "accommodation" of Obama versus
the "antagonism" of McCain. I am the one person in this election who can bring
together the people of our great nation and also bring together the people of the
world.
My position is that we should talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere, but we
shouldn't necessarily listen (or even pay attention, for that matter). I call it my
"Los Angeles cocktail party" engagement strategy. I'll talk to anyone, but at a
very superficial level. I'll pepper the conversations with lots of "right, right"
and "absolutely, let's do that" comments, while I'm looking around to see what
else I could be doing. If I'm talking to an Ayatollah or a Mullah, and Jessica
Alba walks by, I'll drop the old boys mid-sentence to talk about the weather
with the hottie (Jessica Alba, in case you're not clear on that point). To further
illustrate my point, if I'm talking to some low-level warlord from Somalia, and
Kim Jong-Il, walks by, I'll ditch the warlord to begin an equally superficial
conversation with the North Korean whack-job. All the while I'll be looking
for A-list celebs or world leaders (like Will Smith, Angela Merkel or J.K.
Rowling) to converse with.
I'm all about meeting with and talking to people who can advance my prestige
and the prestige of my country. I'll talk to almost anyone to kill some time, but
as soon as the glamorous folks show up I'm done talking to the nerds. McCain,
Obama and the other candidates in the 2008 field are slaves to their special
interest groups and their union and corporate sponsors. I am the candidate of
change. I am the middle way; I am the American way!
| Talking to Our Enemies - May 24, 2008 |
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