| Endorsement Request - President George W. Bush |
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Dear President Bush (W. that is, not H.W.),
As your eight years in the oval office come to an end, I’m sure you’ve started reflecting on the things
you’ve accomplished as President. But I’m sure you’re also looking ahead to what your legacy will
be. Years from now people will look back on and judge your foreign and domestic policies, your
legislative priorities and your fashion statements. Well, I’m writing to give you some advice on how
to leave a legacy that will shock America and the world, and will draw praise and adulation from the
historians of tomorrow.
There are some who would question your legacy as a “uniter” and not a “divider”. There are some
who would also question your delivery on your promise to be a “compassionate conservative”.
There is, however, a quick and easy way to debunk those naysayers and go down in the annals of
Wikipedia as a “compassionate uniter”. All you have to do is endorse me and my candidacy for the
presidency in 2008. It would be an unprecedented move (or maybe an “un-presidented” move, if
you follow my pun), but one that would define and cement your lasting legacy to the United States.
Obviously you can’t endorse a Democrat, so Hillary and Obama are out. And you can’t endorse
Ralph Nader, because he’s loony and, between you and me, kind of scary. Logic would point you to
John McCain, but that’s playing it “safe”, and I don’t read you as the kind of guy who backs down in
the face of pressure to conform. Plus, McCain’s pretty old, and (not to rub salt in any wounds) he
has said some less-than-flattering things about you. Finally, whenever I hear someone say
“McCain” I always think “McClane”, as in John McClane from the Die Hard movies. I think you’ll
agree that, as admirable as Senator McCain’s service to our country was, he’s always going to
come up short in America’s collective mind when they compare him to John McClane.
But I don’t think I need to carry on with the hard sell here. Check out my positions at www.
willard2008.com, and I’m sure you’ll agree that I’m the right person to succeed you and lead our
great nation into the promising yet challenging times ahead.
I look forward to your endorsement and support,
Brad Willard
As your eight years in the oval office come to an end, I’m sure you’ve started reflecting on the things
you’ve accomplished as President. But I’m sure you’re also looking ahead to what your legacy will
be. Years from now people will look back on and judge your foreign and domestic policies, your
legislative priorities and your fashion statements. Well, I’m writing to give you some advice on how
to leave a legacy that will shock America and the world, and will draw praise and adulation from the
historians of tomorrow.
There are some who would question your legacy as a “uniter” and not a “divider”. There are some
who would also question your delivery on your promise to be a “compassionate conservative”.
There is, however, a quick and easy way to debunk those naysayers and go down in the annals of
Wikipedia as a “compassionate uniter”. All you have to do is endorse me and my candidacy for the
presidency in 2008. It would be an unprecedented move (or maybe an “un-presidented” move, if
you follow my pun), but one that would define and cement your lasting legacy to the United States.
Obviously you can’t endorse a Democrat, so Hillary and Obama are out. And you can’t endorse
Ralph Nader, because he’s loony and, between you and me, kind of scary. Logic would point you to
John McCain, but that’s playing it “safe”, and I don’t read you as the kind of guy who backs down in
the face of pressure to conform. Plus, McCain’s pretty old, and (not to rub salt in any wounds) he
has said some less-than-flattering things about you. Finally, whenever I hear someone say
“McCain” I always think “McClane”, as in John McClane from the Die Hard movies. I think you’ll
agree that, as admirable as Senator McCain’s service to our country was, he’s always going to
come up short in America’s collective mind when they compare him to John McClane.
But I don’t think I need to carry on with the hard sell here. Check out my positions at www.
willard2008.com, and I’m sure you’ll agree that I’m the right person to succeed you and lead our
great nation into the promising yet challenging times ahead.
I look forward to your endorsement and support,
Brad Willard